Horned and Horny

To be quite honest, I never realized how awfully insane our traditional rituals sound on paper. I can assure you, we are not the drug addicted, incest encouraging people you must think us to be after such a tale. Sure, some of our customs are a little...what's the phrase...fucked up? Like, what kind of drugs are we on when we think smearing the blood of a deer on someone's nipples is somehow normal, sanitary, and symbolic of virginity? Well, it's not like that. Our incest-born children will have some problems, so we figure we might as well get some too by just putting a bunch of blood all over ourselves. I'm kidding! You have to at least give us credit for the symbolism we incorporate that really does make sense, such as stringing crimson berries at a virgin's loins. I know you're imagining fruity look-alike christmas-lights tied at her who-knows-what, but it really is a beautiful, spiritual, and just plain creative kind of thing.

I wish it weren't so that Morgaine discovers she slept with her brother, let alone lost her virginity to him, and I especially wish it weren't so that Morgaine discovers this when she is still laying naked with him...in the cave. Why do we have them make love in a cave again? Isn't it cold? I don't know - never mind. My point is that young people don't really need to know everything because they'll only learn it effectively in time. This is similar to the philosophy I had in my telling Morgaine when she reached a stage where obedience could be tempered with her own judgement. Morgaine is a smart girl, and Arthur is even smarter, so I know they'll fare well. It is a little funny though because today is apparently National Siblings Day...Cheers to you, Morgaine and Arthur!

And if she hasn't gotten enough of Arthur's swords, I give her the noble task of fashioning a scabbard for a sword soon-to-be his with boundless spells to prevent him from shedding blood (because there has been more than enough blood involved in this so far). Of course, she doesn't initially know the sword will be Arthur's, and she wonders why I give her this task because, still, she does not fully understand what she means for Avalon. Regardless, the Goddess works through her hands; Morgaine remains focused and tranquil while completing the task. I like how she says nothing until she says, "It is done," as if she were a college student writing the same agonizing history essay from 8pm to 2am without getting up to go to the bathroom, and there aren't any snacks in the house or anything. I digress, but she had food and water, and she had a whole room full of people to help her out, so it wasn't that bad.

What is bad, however, is how Arthur is basically attached to his sister in the worst way possible - because she took his virginity? Although, he'd probably do and say the same things if neither of them were virgins when it happened. Let's be real, Arthur is just an emotional guy, but he's still pretty weird about it too. "Come to my crowning if you can, sister," he says while gently kissing her hand and probably pausing creepily before "sister" to look up at her with seductive eyes. Ew! I'm out!

Until next time,

Viviane

P.S. Doesn't Morgaine's legend kind of remind you of the Avatar? She even has the blue tattoos to match. I know they made some female version as a sequel to the real deal, but let's just forget about that.

Source:

The Mists of Avalon