Horned and Horny

To be quite honest, I never realized how awfully insane our traditional rituals sound on paper. I can assure you, we are not the drug addicted, incest encouraging people you must think us to be after such a tale. Sure, some of our customs are a little...what's the phrase...fucked up? Like, what kind of drugs are we on when we think smearing the blood of a deer on someone's nipples is somehow normal, sanitary, and symbolic of virginity? Well, it's not like that. Our incest-born children will have some problems, so we figure we might as well get some too by just putting a bunch of blood all over ourselves. I'm kidding! You have to at least give us credit for the symbolism we incorporate that really does make sense, such as stringing crimson berries at a virgin's loins. I know you're imagining fruity look-alike christmas-lights tied at her who-knows-what, but it really is a beautiful, spiritual, and just plain creative kind of thing.

I wish it weren't so that Morgaine discovers she slept with her brother, let alone lost her virginity to him, and I especially wish it weren't so that Morgaine discovers this when she is still laying naked with him...in the cave. Why do we have them make love in a cave again? Isn't it cold? I don't know - never mind. My point is that young people don't really need to know everything because they'll only learn it effectively in time. This is similar to the philosophy I had in my telling Morgaine when she reached a stage where obedience could be tempered with her own judgement. Morgaine is a smart girl, and Arthur is even smarter, so I know they'll fare well. It is a little funny though because today is apparently National Siblings Day...Cheers to you, Morgaine and Arthur!

And if she hasn't gotten enough of Arthur's swords, I give her the noble task of fashioning a scabbard for a sword soon-to-be his with boundless spells to prevent him from shedding blood (because there has been more than enough blood involved in this so far). Of course, she doesn't initially know the sword will be Arthur's, and she wonders why I give her this task because, still, she does not fully understand what she means for Avalon. Regardless, the Goddess works through her hands; Morgaine remains focused and tranquil while completing the task. I like how she says nothing until she says, "It is done," as if she were a college student writing the same agonizing history essay from 8pm to 2am without getting up to go to the bathroom, and there aren't any snacks in the house or anything. I digress, but she had food and water, and she had a whole room full of people to help her out, so it wasn't that bad.

What is bad, however, is how Arthur is basically attached to his sister in the worst way possible - because she took his virginity? Although, he'd probably do and say the same things if neither of them were virgins when it happened. Let's be real, Arthur is just an emotional guy, but he's still pretty weird about it too. "Come to my crowning if you can, sister," he says while gently kissing her hand and probably pausing creepily before "sister" to look up at her with seductive eyes. Ew! I'm out!

Until next time,

Viviane

P.S. Doesn't Morgaine's legend kind of remind you of the Avatar? She even has the blue tattoos to match. I know they made some female version as a sequel to the real deal, but let's just forget about that.

Source:

The Mists of Avalon

Who is she - baby Moses?

How does everyone know that the queen is involved with Sir Launcelot, yet King Arthur remains unaware? Perhaps he does have an inkling of his wife’s relationship with his loyal knight – is he simply choosing to trust his lady and not accuse her of unfaithfulness, as we learned from The Saga of the Mantle? That would explain why he is unmoved by Sir Launcelot’s seemingly fatal wound at the tournament. Even so, I still wonder how everyone else knows and what each must think of his or her great King Arthur for it. Again, as we learned from The Saga of the Mantle, blame is more rightfully given to the women and the other man than it is given to the husband. Why, then, would Sir Bors support the queen’s adulterous behavior and everyone adore Sir Launcelot? Are the people’s fantasies entertained by such real-life courtly love in their castle? I think I’d much rather feed off the drama in my Lord’s castle than create drama in my own life.

Of course, I cannot forget to mention our Fair Maid of Astolat. Thank Jesu it is acknowledged that this poor maid loved too much. I don’t blame her for her heart; it’s not hard to romanticize the idea of being with the first real man one lays eyes upon when ones entire life has been spent alone with unrealistic stories of great love. Besides, her love was truly real for her, which we know from the immense care she gave Sir Launcelot in his time of need. In the end, she only died because she was naïve. It's not Sir Launcelot's fault at all. On page 470, Sir Launcelot says, "I am sorry. Your daughter is beautiful, tender, and gracious, and yet I did not ask for her love, or encourage it." Well said! Kudos to Sir Launcelot for being a smart, classy, and humble heartbreaker.

Still, Elaine is awfully weird for wishing her body and letter-in-dead-hand to float down a river to Arthur’s court. What is the significance of that? Who is she – baby Moses? Kimberly Perry from The Band Perry? I don’t think so.

This tale includes factors no different than any other we have read: adulterous fantasy, a woman sick and dying from love, biblical inspiration, and a knight’s characteristics. If it has anything special to introduce, it would be Elaine's death as a virgin. The story makes it clear that she was a virgin as early as the title, "The Fair Maid of Astolat" - "maid" implying her virginity. Virginity is a rare thing in Arthurian legends, but death as a virgin is just as intriguing to me now as it must have been to the original audience. In fact, any death of an innocent soul is somewhat beautiful and saddening at the same time. Why do you think that is?

Until next time,

Lady of the Lake

Sir Thomas Malory, "The Fair Maid of Astolat" in "Le Morte D'Arthur: King Arthur and the Legends of the Round Table," Pg. 457-472

What Kind of Knight is This Green Guy?

I can speculate many a reason why Sir Gawain chooses to accept the challenge presented to Arthur’s court by the Green Knight. He is the youngest of Arthur’s knights and he is Arthur’s nephew, so he must feel some sort of obligation to demonstrate his chivalry. In addition, he is rational; with one free strike, he can kill his opponent, thus one free strike can not possibly be returned. With this rationality, Sir Gawain begins to exhibit a common “fault” in medieval knights:

keeping ones word is held with great respect and honor, and with no nods to suspicion, it is expected that others will do the same.

Initially, however, I could not speculate any reason why the Green Knight chooses to gallop in on New Year’s Day, wait for a knight specifically like Sir Gawain to come forward, and deliberately trick him into waiting a year for his death. I was left thinking, what kind of knight is this green guy and what is his purpose? To me, it seemed that, time and time again, bad people appear in medieval literaure with bad intentions and manage to use the good intentions of respectable and honorable people against them for no reason other than the need for a plot device. Stay tuned - this is not the case for the Green Knight.

As I previously mentioned, knights such as Sir Gawain like to keep their word and expect others to do the same without suspicion. Under that principle and that principle only, Sir Gawain must be failing at knighthood when he goes against his promise to exchange his daily gain for Bertilak’s daily kill; he secretly withholds a girdle, given to him by Bertilak's apparently seductive wife, that he thinks will save him from physical harm. Sir Gawain therefore keeps his word to the seemingly random Green Knight who he believes will kill him, but he goes against his word to Bertilak when he discovers a loop hole. WHY? (Did I mention the damn girdle is green like the Green Knight who fooled him?)

In the end, we learn that the Green Knight and Bertilak are the same person, and his purpose was to test Arthur's knights, but what exactly was he testing? Well, it was not their levels of trust versus suspicion, nor was it whether or not they would keep their word by showing up a year later for inevitable death. Instead, he used those knightly characteristics as tools for the deceit he needed to test integrity - the ability to hold onto morals when no one except oneself would know otherwise. If one of Arthur's knights had integrity, he would have handed over the life-saving girdle to Bertilak, thus deserving true respect and honor. Instead of a plot device, the Green Knight has a legitimate purpose! However, he is frankly odd for using deceit the way he did...

 I give thanks to a story that might teach men to have some integrity. To the elderly lady who figured frightening Guinevere to death would make for bravura laughs, I also give thanks.

Sincerely speaking,

Lady of the Lake

Lacy, Norris J., and James J. Wilhelm. The Romance of Arthur: An Anthology of Medieval Texts in Translation. London: Routledge, 2013. Print.

How the Queen Played Damsel

Oh, my dearest friend Guinevere, I am as far as ashamed of you. This whole thing could have been avoided if you had tricked yourself away from Mélégant, but I presume you are not so wise and clever to do so. I can understand if a man, bigger and stronger than you, manages to take you as his hostage, but what pride do you sacrifice and what weakness doth replace it when you put up absolutely no fight as he drags you back to his land as his prisoner? At the very least, you could have cussed him out or spit on him. Maybe you did, but you undoubtedly relied on a manly Lancelot to rescue your ass in the end. You even let him fight Mélégant when Mélégant accused you of sleeping with Kay. Guinevere, what the heck? You let someone risk his life for you over an accusation of adultery based solely on bloody sheets (in a woman's bed), really? That makes the second time you couldn't physically defend yourself and, instead of using your head, you did nothing except sit back and watch a man sweat. Okay, I can't blame you for wanting to watch Lancelot sweat, but there you go again letting a man do all your dirty work for you. Don't tell me women of our time were taught otherwise, because I most certainly was not, and I thought you knew better than that. I mean, you're a queen, aren't you? Or would you really rather be just another damsel in distress? 

             My disappointment stops there, but my confusion does not. When Lancelot first came to Gorre for you, you claimed your coldness was due to his hesitation to ride in the dwarf's shameful cart. Regardless of how you knew of his hesitation, why would that force you to be cold? Perchance you figured he ought to learn that nothing is more shameful than thinking twice about his love, or perchance you just needed a defendable excuse for your mood that day. Either way, when the time finally came for him to fight Mélégant, you asked him to lose to prove his love, and once he was losing, you changed your mind and asked him to win. Was he just not sweating enough for you, or did you really wish for love to be proven between the two of you? If the latter is true, prithee tell me, Guinevere, how long have you not loved your noble Arthur? What do you plan on doing in the little love triangle you've contributed to creating, especially when you have shown a lack of shrewdness? You're in an awfully terrible situation.

Let me know if Arthur suddenly becomes single.

With all due respect,

          Lady of the Lake

Lacy, Norris J., and James J. Wilhelm. The Romance of Arthur: An Anthology of Medieval Texts in Translation. London: Routledge, 2013. Print.

Prithee, Acquaint Thyself with The Lady of the Lake

Nimue interpreted in HubPages

On this morrow, my good sirs and ladies, I am ever pleased to meeteth thou. I am Niviane, sometimes referred to as Nimue or Vivien, and I am the daughter of the king of Northumberland. Residing with great, mystical powers and wisdom beneath my murky waters, I am The Lady of the Lake, the titular ruler of Avalon.

Vivien and Merlin by Gustave Dorè

I met King Arthur’s druidic advisor, Merlin, when I was young. Over the years, we were friends and often travelled together, but he grew heavy with a lust for me that was nauseating and disgusting. Motivated by a fear that he would use his spells to take advantage of me and get what he wanted, I used my shrewdness to formulate a plan: I told Merlin that I would reciprocate his desires once he taught me all of his mystical powers. Thus, I served as a scribe of his prophecies and pupil of his knowledge for many a year until I was powerful enough to use his magic against him by trapping him and causing his death. At that point, Merlin was had been my nemesis. Merlin’s removal ultimately led to the downfall of King Arthur and his court, but this conquest of mine against Merlin serves to show that I am not like most ladies of my time. I work for the forces of good, but I will not sacrifice my own honor by shrinking in the shadows and succumbing to males who think I should. Instead, I fight back in my own, clever way.

In addition to my history with Merlin, one of my earliest roles was of foster-mother to a boy named Lancelot who later served as a courageous knight in King Arthur’s court. When his mother died, I saved him from chaos and brought him to my lake to raise him as my own son. Perchance I am merely a mother at heart, but I value compassion and help for those who are too weak or unable to help themselves.

I further exercised these values when King Arthur came to my lake. Seeking my help, he showed me great manners and respect. I enchanted a sword called Excalibur and bestowed it upon him so that he could be victorious in battle. By serving as a benefactor for King Arthur and his court, I aimed to be nothing but a force of good. King Arthur and his knights were my allies, and I was theirs for I believed in their cause. When King Arthur died in battle, Excalibur was returned to my misty waters, and I was one of three Queens to escort his body to the island of Avalon.

Lady of the Lake interpreted in ComicVine

• "Merlin" from Wikipedia
• "Lady of the Lake" from Wikipedia
• "Lady of the Lake" from Britannia's Arthurian Biographies
• "Nimue" from HubPages